That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
