kristin has been a bad kristin
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
