my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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