new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
