i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize