All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
