Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
