So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
