She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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