My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
there is glitter all over my balls
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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