my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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