I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
