i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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