I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
