I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
