Jerry, you need to find god
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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