Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
