its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Did I show you my penis last night?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
