I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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