It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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