What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
