Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
