i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
