there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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