This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
