i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
