they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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