Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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