Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just had sex bonerless
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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