No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
