his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
