I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
