Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
