can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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