Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
