This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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