My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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