i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
