Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
