white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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