she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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