We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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