There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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