I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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