some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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