Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I have already put on my inside pants.
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