you mean i was at the winter classic?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
