idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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