Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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