The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
