I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
