so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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