My first STD was from a foam party
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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