Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
