"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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