Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
