we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
