p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
