your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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