yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
