Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize