The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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