all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
