"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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