I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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