hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
