Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
