are you so shy because you have an std?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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